Glenn Beck vs. The Dung Beetle

Detritivores like this dung beetle help to tur...

Image via Wikipedia

I’m going to go ahead and call this idea a minor stroke of genius. Someone on Facebook created a fanpage called “Can this dung beetle get more fans than Glenn Beck?”  Here’s the intro:

A very important animal in nutrient cycles, dung beetles contribute much to their local ecosystems by putting elements such as C, N and minerals back into the soil. This is in contrast to the animal Glenn Beck which scientists hypothesize has a highly detrimental impact on the ecosystem it belongs to, with a very high contribution to what scientists have called “the BS cycle”.

Beck has 572,000 fans.  So far the dung beetle is up to 9,300 12,500 15,000 24,300 but that’s just after a few days. The little guy has a ways to go, but I think he can do it.

To further the effort (and in the interest of science), I did a little research on the dung beetle and will offer a few comparisons with Glenn Beck below. I think you’ll agree that on all counts the dung beetle is the more useful, productive and endearing of the two.

1. One dung beetle can bury 250 times its own weight in feces every night. Glenn Beck, in contrast, produces at least that much dung every night, but instead of burying it, he flings it at his audience like a spastic monkey.

2. One species of dung beetle eats the feces of large snails on whom it rides around.  Glenn Beck fills a similar role as one of the many insects riding on the back of their ceaselessly crap-producing host, Rupert Murdoch.

3. Dung beetles are known in different places by different names often meant to venerate the insect, such as “scarab” in ancient Egypt and “aksak” in South America. Glenn Beck is also known by different names, but none of them are flattering.

4. In China, dried dung beetle is believed by some to cure as many as 10 different diseases.  Glenn Beck has not been known to cure any disease, but watching him over time may cause premature degeneration of one’s prefrontal cortex (with results similar to that of a full frontal lobotomy).

5.  The dung beetle has been instrumental in furthering the important science of animal husbandry. Glenn Beck has been instrumental in furthering the deviant arts of propaganda and misinformation.

6. The dung beetle is an insect with symbolic ties to rich and intriguing religious myth that no one any longer believes. Glenn Beck has ties to Mormonism, a rich religion based on a myth intriguing only because anyone actually believes it.

7. Finally, the dung beetle does one thing and does it very well. Glenn Beck also does just one thing very well: crying on cue.

If you’re on Facebook, I urge you: give the dung beetle some love.

UPDATE: as of 2/14, the dung beetle has over 34,000 fans. Go beetle!

3 thoughts on “Glenn Beck vs. The Dung Beetle

  1. looks to me like disalvo has nothing more of value to offer than beck does (at least beck dishes some policy talk with the personal insults).

    dung beetle – 2

    pundits – 0

  2. Pingback: Glenn Beck’s “How to Make facefriends and Influence People” - Fox News Watchdog

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